Wondering what it means if you have difficulty sharing a bed with someone you love?
It doesn’t mean you love them any less! It just means that perhaps you need to adjust your sleep routine (and that’s okay).
Communication is key
Some couples can share beds comfortably and happily with good sleep for both individuals, and others can’t. It has nothing to do with the health and security of your relationship so there’s no reason to feel embarrased or ashamed.
Here’s the healthiest approach: Ignore others’ assumptions about the health of your relationship and examine your own.
If you sleep together soundly without temperature frustrations or distress over a partner’s snoring or restlessness, you have a bed and mattress that support your individual sleeping styles, and you both wake up well rested— you’re golden and can stop reading now.
Stuff the stigma
So, you’re struggling to sleep at night with your partner? That’s okay!
Extra closeness can be created in loads of ways, as any lovebird or couples therapist will tell you. Successful relationships with satisfying intimacy are about openness, love and good communication as much as about literally sleeping together all night. It’s wonderful if it works for you, but if it doesn’t, there’s no need to feel badly.
Contented separate sleepers often point out that well-rested people are much more likely to be affectionate, sexually intimate, and ready to connect. As people get older and sleep more lightly, for some, separate sleeping actually helps keep those sparks alive.
Whatever your age and however you sleep best, getting enough rest is a relationship priority.
Another couple-friendly option
If you think you might benefit from sleeping more independently but don’t want separate beds or rooms, consider an adjustable bed (also called an adjustable base or foundation) with side-by-side natural latex mattresses.
These flex and perform perfectly on adjustable bases. Split-Queen mattresses are available and two Twin Longs make a King. A California King base can also be topped with half-size mattresses.
An adjustable base allows autonomy-for-two within one bed. You can raise the head or foot on your side to the position you find most comfortable for reading or sleep—and still enjoy easy connection and closeness with your partner.
Wherever or however you sleep, what matters is to sleep well—both of you!
